7. Stop mind reading – it’s impossible anyway.

This goes along with the content communicating, but I feel it’s important enough ,and distinct enough, to get it’s own post. If we are instructed to communicate what we want, then we also need to not read into what our partners say. Take it for what it is. (AGAIN, NO SARCASM). Sarcasm is one of the most hurtful and damaging modes of communicating, but I’ll get to that in another post.

When our partner says something, instead of wondering, “Hmmm, I wonder what they meant by that?”. Stop yourself, don’t mind read. If you have a question about what they said, ask. Just ask in a nice, calm, curious way that isn’t attacking. So many times I hear, I know they said ____ but what they meant was ______. Why do we do this to ourselves – mind reading, making assumptions, most often negative and critical. Instead, focus on what your partner is really saying and let go of the stories that you are making up.

If you combine this with content communicating and giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, it’s impressive how much change can occur. Give it a try, I dare ya! If you don’t see a difference, let me know.

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