Will I ever be good enough?

Now more than ever, people are feeling like they just don’t measure up.  They feel they keep falling short.  We set these expectations for ourselves that are not only unrealistic, but are such, that we would not expect anyone else to live up to such standards. Why do we do this?

Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment, frustration, anger, resentment and sadness.
If we know we set unrealistic expectations, then why do we get upset with ourselves when they are not met. Unmet expectations causes the above feelings in addition to feelings of not being good enough. So why are we continually setting ourselves up to fail. To fix this. Be realistic with what you are expecting of yourself. You only have 24 hours in a day. 6-8 of those hours are set aside to sleep, you also need to eat, take care of personal hygiene, work, exercise, spend time with children, spouse, friends, cook, clean, and do it all with a smile.

If A = B and B = C then A = C

A: Unrealistic expectations
B: Unmet expectations
C: Disappointment/Feeling not good enough

Do an exercise – write down everything you try to do in a day, the amount of time it would take to do it, and then see what can be eliminated. We are not able to do it all. If we accept that sometimes the house is going to be messy, the kids are not going to get our undivided attention, dinner is not going to be made from scratch, work will just have to wait until tomorrow; we will be able to relax, be more present and enjoy the moment more.

Set realistic expectations. Eliminate unnecessary items, allow yourself to do something for you. It’s not only okay, but healthy and necessary to participate in self care activities. Go take a bubble bath, go shopping without the kids, sit down and read a book (uninterrupted), go golfing. If we set realistic expectations and schedule self care time, we not only can enjoy these moments but restore our sense of self through these moments.

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